


Teamwork

by shinysparks



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Crack, rh_drabblefest 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysparks/pseuds/shinysparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for rh_drabblefest 2009. <strong>Prompt:</strong> Robin/Guy; practical jokes</p>
    </blockquote>





	Teamwork

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rh_drabblefest 2009. **Prompt:** Robin/Guy; practical jokes

Guy carefully tiptoed through the outlaw's camp, carrying a large bowl of warm water. He knelt down in front of Robin, who was fast asleep, and carefully placed the outlaw's hand into the bowl. Shortly thereafter, a dark, wet spot began to appear on Robin's britches. Guy chuckled quietly.

"Goodbye, dignity." He whispered.  


***

  
Robin sat beside Guy, who was snoring loudly, and carefully scooped some of the smelly contents of Little John's personal chamber pot onto Guy's hands. He then took a large goose feather and tickled Guy's nose, biting his lip to keep from laughing when the former villain rubbed poo all over his face. 

***

  
"If he wants to play dirty, I can play dirty." Guy thought to himself, eyeing the champion of the people evilly. He gripped a sharp dagger in his hand and nonchalantly walked over to the sleeping outlaw. He bent over Robin, and with great skill, quickly shaved off his left eyebrow. 

***

  
Rubbing the bare spot where his eyebrow used to be, Robin grinned dangerously at Guy, who had fallen asleep on his stomach. With scissors in hand, the outlaw pulled up a large chunk of Guy's long locks, and snipped it off haphazardly. 

***

  
Guy tucked the few remaining strands of his long hair behind his ear, as he inched across the camp carrying a clump of shiny, green leaves in his gloved hand. He had learned about these leaves the hard way, after grabbing a few to wipe with on his first night in the forest. Guy and his bottom had spent the next week or so experiencing Hell on Earth.

Pulling up Robin's shirt, he placed several of the leaves directly on Robin's stomach and a few more around his neck and face. He then sprinkled the rest around Robin's bedroll, trying hard to stifle his giggling.

***

  
Robin had pilfered the bucket of blue paint on their last trip to Nottingham Castle. He'd planned to use it to spruce up the Outlaw's Camp, since Much had been complaining about the dirt and lack of color in the place, but for now, it had another use. The champion of the people scratched the red, blistered rash on his face furiously as dabbed the last bit of paint onto Guy's nose. He then giggled silently at the bright blue man snoring in front of him. 

***

  
Much paced back and forth across the floor of the camp, his hands on his hips and his lips pursed. Both Robin and Guy watched his movements intently as they sat next to each other on a small bench. Kate was attending to Robin, applying a pinkish, opaque fluid to his rash, while Allan was busy scrubbing the blue paint from his former master.

"Six days." Much finally said, still pacing, "Six days of pranks. You are both acting like children."  
"He started it." Robin replied, pointing at Guy.  
"Did not." Guy retorted.  
"Did too!"  
"Did not!"  
"Enough!" Much bellowed, his voice shaky. He wasn't used to raising it. "You both are on the same side now. You should be working as a team!"  
"A team?" Guy asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yes. A team." Said Much. He raised his arm above his head and grinned. "WE ARE ROBIN HOOD!"  
"WE ARE ROBIN HOOD!" Kate joined in, smiling and sloshing bits of pink fluid everywhere.  
"Now, you." Much said, pointing at Guy.

Guy rolled his eyes and groaned. "Wearerobinhood." He mumbled quietly, turning his head to the side.

"That's very good." Much replied, smiling. "Now, I think you both should hug and make up."

Both Guy and Robin grumbled. Grudgingly, they reached over and wrapped their arms around each other.  
"I'm sorry." Robin muttered.  
"Me, too." Said Guy.

"And perhaps a kiss?" Much asked, hopefully.  
"Much." Robin replied, eyeballing his servant sternly.  
"Right. Never mind."

***

  
Night had fallen in Sherwood Forest, and all were sleeping in the Outlaw's camp, save for two. Guy and Robin stared each other down evilly, as if daring one another to make a move. However, neither one did. Instead, Guy cracked a lop-sided grin, and Robin chuckled quietly.

"Glue?" Asked Guy, holding out his hand, which was still stained blue.  
"Here you go." Robin replied, handing Guy a small jar.

Guy began to spread a thick coating of the sticky substance onto Much's exposed privates, while Robin forced the parts into place, effectively gluing them to the side of the man's leg. Once the glue dried, both Guy and Robin pulled his pant's back up cautiously. Standing up, they stared down at the sleeping man and smiled.

"I wonder if this is what he meant by 'working as a team?'" Guy joked, grinning from ear to ear.


End file.
